I hate the person I'm slowly becoming. I am constantly harvesting an empty feeling inside me and I attempt to mask this by wearing my body out with alcohol, clubs, and the attention of insignificant males. I awake at the end of each weekend in a pool of regret, self pity and shame. My insides scream for mercy after what I put it through and my external showcases nothing less of bruises and zombie-like traits.
I am beginning to throw away all my values and strangling my mind with continuous torment. These darks thoughts are reaching a shallow surface and a drastic change needs to be in motion to drown them back down. Is this the person I am when I'm not with you ? Or have I always wanted this and you were just a temporary door-stopper to extend my innocence ?
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
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