so routine

I don't want to fall back into old habits.  And recently that's the conclusion I'm jumping to. Of course things are different and they have been perfect and amazing for a long time, but we are still co-existing amongst the same issues.  These aren't going to miraculously disappear or evaporate.  They creep up close to the surface time and time again and having to deal with it is so exhausting.  I want them gone.  

I feel bad for neglecting this safe place.  And worse for only turning here at my lowest.  The truth is the past month has been utter bliss and I have felt like the happiest girl in the world - it had been a while since I'd felt like myself.  Most nights I go to bed content and grateful for what I have now.

Nothing will change if nothing changes.  I have put my efforts in and it hasn't been easy.  I swallow my pride and accept that it is a two way street.  I have been selfish in the past and that wasn't fair.  At the same time, the process of delivering my thoughts and issues to you have been tired.  You can't make anyone do anything -  and you can't change people.  The only achievement is they will have carried out your request out of guilt or force and no one wins.  It is just hard because I know I can't make you do anything - I just want you to understand what I ask and you can decide for yourself. 

PS. The word 'trivial' remains irrelevant.