seventeen

I had such a delight filled day today. Everyone was so lovely and they just made me feel really special and important, even just for that one day of the year. My day was packed with laughs from the moment I walked into school this morning, til the skype sesh with the skype krew (SK) and guest Chaz. Right at this moment, I couldn't ask for anyone else as friends because the ones I have bonded with this year are amazing. That cards and gifts that I received were wonderful and it just makes me realise how much they really know me.

Butch Pope, reading your card today actually made me pee a little. Nah I'm only kidding haha, as believable as that sounds, I really am just joking. I forget how many memories we've created together these past three years, and I think you know me the best out of everyone. Through better or worse, *laugh out loud*. I think you're the person that I can honestly say I haven't held anything back from, and what you experience now is everything you'll get.
I just love you to bits :)

Once again, I thank everyone for making this day so memorable for me, and I really could not ask for better people to spend it with.

merci

love life

Today may have been one of the most amazing days ever. I spent my early 17th birthday with my family and I don't think I've ever felt so connected with them. I guess I don't realise that not everyone has the privilege of such a close knit family where we all know each other so well and we could all be considered one big "immediate" family. I forget that we were once young infants, playing together in one massive house where we all lived together. Riding down to the creek, playing hide and seek, making messy smoothies, and gaming on the super nintendo. Thinking back now they all seem like such distant memories. It kinda makes me sad to know that it's all in the past and we've all grown up into teenagers and young adults. But I am glad that we have all remained close and not drifting apart as many people do when they grow up. That makes me happy.

Lau-Huang-Li

viva glam gaga

On a lighter note, I have to admit one of the things that made this day so great for me is that I am now a proud owner of my very first MAC product. I never thought I'd get hold of one, but my oh so generous cousin has bought me one for my birthday. I was overwhelmed with happiness and forever grateful. This may seem a tad dramatic but I just love how well my whole family knows me. There are definitely people who don't have such a blessed family. I grant this lovely gift of a family on everyone and wish that we can all experience such love.

I hope we never change because I can't imagine life without you guys

they're episodic

Have you ever felt pure joy? If I had to describe it using words, it'll be:
a stabbing sensation that exhibits pressure in the center of your heart.
Yeah, that sounds right. And they're not just things like "getting an A+ on a test" or "buying a new pair of heels". In my experience, it is that split second where you're glad you've made all those mistakes and faced troubles in your life, because at that moment, there's nowhere else you'd rather be. Without screaming or scribbling crazily on a piece of paper, this feeling is undoubtedly too hard to express more in words.

I know by writing this now, I have probably jinxed myself. But luckily for me, I have experienced this great feeling of happiness thrice(if that's a word) this week. Three days in a row. If I remember correctly, I think most of my encounters with this alien emotion is with family. I can only speak for myself, but I believe these moments do not come very often for me. Yes, I admit I am naturally a happy person already and I love it, but this emotion is simply too pure and too precious.

Personally, when I'm in the midst of these occurrences, I find myself stopping to think back at everything bad, and forgetting it all, even for just that small amount of stolen time. I really wish for everyone this privilege and amazing experience. To be honest, I would leave all my materialistic things just to make sure I never lose the ability to feel like that.


please don't take these moments for granted

y=mx+

Shut the fuck up. Seriously.

now or never

I know I've been confused and hesitant for a while. But I'm sure now. So what are you going to do about it?

crash and burn

I did it again. Surprise ! You made me think about you when I was going so well in doing quite the contrary. Am I ever going to escape your existence; and will my brain - and more so heart - have anymore energy for you?


the idea that you've drained me of affection scares me to death

cry about it, why don't you?

I could probably name a thousand things that are stressing me out right at this moment. The trick is to not think about it for too long, or else you'll double or even triple that stress level. You just need to preoccupy yourself with other tasks in order for your mind to tip-toe around the mine field of stress bombs that could blow up in one slight but incorrect movement. It could be a glance at a book on your desk, or talking to the wrong person that could spark the thought. So many things around you that you don't take notice of, yet your brain - or perhaps heart - is meticulously protecting you from. It's almost 2am, I have work at 9 tomorrow and it's likely that everything I have just written is a load of bullshit. But for once I'm going to face it all, one at a time, without complaining.

..even if it means I have to return to shore where reality exists.