im afraid i may not be strong enough to handle this

I want to scream at you, I want to fuck you up so hard, you can no longer function on this earth. The amount of pain and heartache you have evoked. I know they say ignorance is bliss, but fuck you - if murder wasn't a crime I would run a stake through you myself and chop you into several, indistinguishable pieces. This is all so surreal, it is the shit I witness in TV shows, I shouldn't have to experience it myself.

My mind has been on overdrive this past week and these dark thoughts will only grow stronger. I feel like this lump in my throat will never go away and I'm in a constant battle with myself to pull it together; there is no use in breaking down.

Two weeks ago, you were my biggest problem on hand. Put in perspective, they were so petty and pathetic. I couldn't give two fucks less now, I have much more significant things to cloud my mind with. I want so badly to talk about this with you, but I know better than to burden you. I'm trying my hardest to remain strong but I fear bitterness is the price I'm paying in order to hold this emotional fort.