Is this what it's supposed to feel like ? I can't shape this into words without sounding like a lame motherfucker. I don't remember it being like this, so what does that mean ? In a rocket launch, this would be when it'd be safe to abort mission before getting stuck in a space you can't escape. I just don't trust myself with these feelings. I'm constantly battling a do or don't do scenario in my head. Like, if I let myself be consumed, I will most likely exit the other end more fucked than ever. I'm aware that we're always supposed to be "taking chances" or whatever stupid crap everyone else is preaching; but my track record isn't exactly an encouraging prompt. I don't mean to always sound like this cynical whore but I'm sick of putting my everything into it and getting fucked up the ass. Four years ago this whole deal seemed ten times more blissful and I didn't have to dissect a situation from a million different angles. I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, I suppose these rogue thoughts were spilling over the edges of my mind and I just needed them out. Here's something we can all have a small think about:
how different would I be had I not..
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