i know this sounds silly

And I shouldn't second guess myself, but sometimes it just seems like you don't really care.  Like, of course I am aware that you do, but I mean in on a deeper level.  There is this thing that I really want to tell you, but I just don't know how you'd take it.  But at the same time, its something I should be sharing with you.  Its like, certain things that I believe should frustrate you or whatever, just doesn't.  And I don't know if they really don't bother you or you're just saying it, so I just let it go and assume there is no problem with what I'm doing.  These are two different things that I'm talking about, and I know that no one else will understand, but the latter scenario forms a basis of how I think you think. I don't actually know how to better illustrate this situation so I'm just going to stop typing here.