sick feeling

I can't think of anything worse at the moment.  I would choose to have my wallet stolen ten times over again than to feel like this.  I am so incredibly sorry and I never intended for it to end like this but I knew the moment the thought was seeded in my brain, I had to take action.  I can't imagine how you are feeling but it is just as hard for me.  It's not like my feelings for you have miraculously dissolved into an abyss of emptiness.  Nothing has changed for me except for my status.  I kept playing the scenario in my head and convincing myself that it wasn't going to be that bad, but when today came, I felt like throwing up and even sleep couldn't cure me.  I tried to talk myself out of it the whole time but I knew I had to suck it up and just follow through with it.  Not only would it have been unfair on you but I would be lying to myself.  

I'm well aware that I'm going to have some adjustment to get used to, but it will get better in time.  I am hopeful that one day you will forgive me and we can talk again but I'm prepared to give you as much time as you need.  It is the least I can do.  

You're still going to be the first and last thing that enters my mind each day.  I'm still going to want to text you every little interesting or stupid thing that happens in my day - but I know I can't.  I love you and I am so sorry.  Please let this longing pass so I can let you go.